Top 5 Things I Learned About My Previous Relationship


previous relationship

1. Seek your validation from God and not from a man. Choose to see yourself as God sees you: Precious, Worthy, Unconditionally Loved. I once entered a relationship because I need to validate myself as a woman. I thought being with a man will answer all the undying needs and longing groaning inside my soul. I was wrong.

2. Men have sexual needs and they will express it—so do women. However, my idea of expressing sexual desire is always on the context of marriage. Being with a man taught me that the struggle is real. Men sometimes feel entitled to express their sexual desire because you are committed to them—or at least, that’s how I felt. Women can either give in because they love their man and give him assurance; or say no and respect the sanctity of marriage. The result of either choice can make the relationship strong or ruin it.

3. A woman can make or break a man. In every man’s success is a woman. Her words are powerful as a sword. She can use it to pierce his heart into pieces or encourage and set him up for success. I realized that whenever I praise him for a job well done, his face lights up and continue to do good. I would often tell him how grateful I was for even the small and simple things he has done and he will do it even more. But whenever I was mad and hurl accusations at him, he crumbles right there and start to accept my accusations.

4. A woman needs a man that can lead—or at least try to. In my previous relationship, since I was the one who earns much, he gives me the authority to lead. I felt like he doesn’t want to lead. Whenever I try asking him to, he passes the ball back to me. It is disheartening to see him behind the wall taken aback by his fears.

5. Love is more than just a feeling—it is a commitment. It always feels good when there’s someone loves you and expresses sweet nothings every time. You cannot deny that feeling of inexplicable joy when someone does a romantic gesture towards you. It always feels good that someone is waiting for you to come home; gives you a pillows and chocolates; asks if you have taken your lunch; or just plain strolls every night talking about mundane things about your life. But soon you’ll realize that there’s more to that. When you see his inadequacies, his faults, his shortcomings, will you still be able to love him like the way you used to? When he violates your core values, is he still worth your love? The commitment of choosing to love a person every day will stand the test of time. It will outgrow your feelings and emotions.

Author: Ji

Photo Credit (here)


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